What An Angry Man Needs, Pt. 1 of 2

When you live or work beside someone with a volatile temper, you know the warning: "Push the button - reap the whirlwind!" So you tread lightly, hoping you don't. But when you accidentally do, hardly have you uttered "Oops" before Mr. Hothead starts breathing fire and scorching the earth. That's when you'll do anything, ANYTHING, to throw some water on the flames and reclaim your fragile peace. All your energies are now harnessed for damage control.

For those who eek it out walking on these eggshells, here's a Proverb that sounds like an invitation to be the test dummy at flame-thrower practice. A man of great anger will bear the penalty, for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again (Prov. 19:19).  It sounds like Solomon is counseling eggshell dwellers to forget about it. Forget trying to salvage the situation. Forget trying to undo all the damage caused by someone else's angry madness. Forget placating your way to peace. Stand back and just let 'er burn!

When we minimize or erase the consequences of a man's wrath, we REINFORCE his reliance on anger. We reward him with the ego satisfaction of seeing everyone jump at his bidding. And, by our reluctance to say anything negative for fear of "setting him off again," we deny him the benefit of beholding all the damage he has caused. Solomon would say that the best possible thing you can do for the man of great anger is allow him to feel the full brunt of the mess he has made. Anything else will insure that Mr. Hothead learns NOTHING from his folly and is spring loaded to do it again.

Suppose a woman with small children has inadvertently pushed her husband's button and he is going ballistic. She must face the fact that his anger is putting the safety of her children at risk. So her next move is to get them (and herself) out of the house without fanfare. This might help her husband see he is making a mess of things when he gets out of control. The wife is not responsible for her husband's anger. She is responsible for reinforcing this negative behavior if she insulates him from the consequences of his mess and tries to just "patch things up." (Translation:  Pretend it didn't happen but live in fear that it WILL happen again!)

There is a great principle nested in this verse for the man who wants to conquer his anger. Let's talk about it tomorrow.

Comments

[jo]

I'm going to be on eggshells until tomorrow! Sometimes I think I have a few screws loose, then when I get empowered by lightworks, it makes sense and the screws get tightened. My tank gets fueled and I feel like I can hang on until my Mr. Hothead relizes that God is in control! Thank you for listening to the whispers of God and putting it into perspective for the rest of us to understand.

[Bo]

If we choose to do things our way first, instead of God's way, He will surely allow us to suffer the consequences. It is then up to us to recognize our foolishness and change our sight to the up position. Not to mention the task of correcting the mistake or undoing the mess we have made (if that is possible-not always so with children). For some of us this punishment is enough. For others it is an addiction that needs a heart of reliance upon God to pull them out of the depths.