Love With A Will

In the letter to the church in Ephesus recorded in Revelation 2:1-8, Jesus affirms this congregation on several counts: They are hard working, persevering, devoted to the truth, and intolerant of false teachers. There is one warning sign: “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love” (Rev. 2:4). The terms of Jesus' condemnation make it clear that the Ephesians' love has been trending in the wrong direction. They formerly possessed a "first love," but have lost it. Where you would expect someone to love the Lord more with the passage of time, the Ephesians actually love the Lord LESS. This is abnormal and definitely a sign of something serious!

Their sister church, Thyatira, demonstrated what should have been: “I know your deeds, and your love and faith and service and perseverance, and that your deeds of late are greater than at first” (Rev. 2:19). The "deeds" of the Thyatiran believers are specified in the four terms, love, faith, service, and perseverance. In all four categories, this church has made progress. For example, their love has grown stronger with the passage of time. They mark a bold contrast with Ephesus where love has waned.

What, exactly, happened in Ephesus? And how would one who has "lost his first love" go about reclaiming it? Answering these question has been rendered more difficult for our culture's preoccupation with a type of "love" that is nothing of the sort. D. G. Myers has a fine post on his "commonplace blog" exploring the literary expressions of this pre-occupation. He elucidates, "All the literary world loves a lover, especially if passion overwhelms his commitments and will." Our Western culture is awash in glorious depictions of love as this powerful and external force prevailing over good sense, honor, and restraint. 

So, when contemporary Western Christians think of a "first love," they are quick to associate this phrase with the onset of an external force, something like the landfall of a hurricane. To "recover" a first love seems as attainable as conjuring the hurricane. How do you "recover" something that is not under your control, something that, in point of fact, controls you?

The problem, here, is created by a case of mistaken identity. The irresistible hurricane of passion is not love. It might be called as much by some, but it is diametrically opposed to what Jesus calls "love." In Jesus' dictionary, love is synonymous with unconditional commitment. This true form of love resists the hurricane; it boldly declares, "I will love you as a matter of choice. Despite whatever winds oppose that commitment, I will remain true to you."

Myers cites a McClatchy Newpapers post that provides a poignant illustration of the contrast between love that is commitment and "love" that destroys commitment. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has shown the latter by his adulterous relationship with an Argentine television journalist. The former shines forth in a statement by his wife, Jenny Sanford. Here is a key excerpt: "I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. . . . I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance."

Only when we understand that the "first love" of which Jesus speaks is commitment love can we understand His appeal to recover it. He is asking the Ephesian believers to renew their commitment to Himself. He is asking them, as a matter of the will, to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30). When this commitment of heart is increasingly evident in a person's life, he is moving in the right direction. When it becomes less and less evident, he is courting danger and vulnerable to the hurricane.

Comments

[D G Myers]

Pastor,

Many thanks for linking to my little essay on Western civilization’s preference for adultery over faithful love. As an Orthodox Jew, I am delighted to have contributed in my small way to interfaith dialogue!

Your congregants and readers might also be interested in my reconsideration of Janet Lewis’s remarkable little novel The Wife of Martin Guerre, which discusses many of the issues that you raise here.

[D G Myers]

Sorry. The URL is here:

http://dgmyers.blogspot.com/2009/01/wife-of-martin-guerre.html

[Jim Fleming]

D G Myers,
Thanks for your comments and the link to your post on The Wife of Martin Guerre. Yes, it is remarkable how our culture has lost something precious and cannot appreciate Bertrande's choice. We are the poorer for it.