Priorities, Part 1: As Easy As 1-2-3?

Every now and then we need to slay a sacred cow at light-work. Today is one of those days. Fire up the grill and bring on the bovine!

My beef is with this quote: “In conclusion, the scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world.” I pulled this sentence from a popular website that offers answers to questions about the Bible. The author echoes the sentiments of many. Everyone’s list might be a little different, but the notion of a hierarchy of responsibilities has become a pervasive staple of populist Christian thought. To do what matters most, we rank everything in importance and only proceed to the next priority after first addressing the one prior.

In such prioritized schemes, which I will call “123” (pronounced “1, 2, 3"), God is always listed first: He is like the first step on the walkway. But from there, the hierarchy may be arranged differently. Is family second? Church third? Job fourth? What about our responsibilities as citizens? Where do they fit? How about evangelism and missions? Is that a subset of church? And why is church listed fourth and not considered part of “God First?” Regardless of how one fusses over the details of what is ranked where, Christians everywhere assume that living by some ordering of 123 is both biblical and helpful for making decisions.

Let’s acknowledge two virtues of 123. First, it raises an important question. Because we enjoy a great deal of discretionary time, we face hundreds of daily choices about how to use our time and resources. Often, we must choose between competing claims. For a follower of Jesus Christ, a method by which to make wise decisions in this labyrinth of choices would be profoundly valuable. 123 attempts to solve this problem by introducing a series of filters intended to identify “what matters most.” Although 123 does not effectively answer the question, “what should we do,” it is on the right track for identifying the challenge.

The Apostle Paul affirms the importance of answering the question of what we should do: “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16). Paul’s point is that making the most of the time requires intentional application of wisdom principles. Unless one walks in wisdom, the natural pull of a day will be toward evil. Paul is calling us to address the very problem 123 raises.

There is a second characteristic of 123 that I can also commend. Regardless of what are ranked as priorities two, three, four, etc., in various 123 schemes, God is consistently ranked as “first.” This agrees with Scripture: “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:4–5). Loving God alone with our whole being is indeed doing what matters most.

But on two counts, I find 123 lacking. First, I can find no biblical basis for the ranking of priorities beyond God first. Is there a passage that teaches some descending order of priority from spouses to children to parents to extended family to brothers and sisters in Christ to, finally, the world. Here is my challenge to the vast global network of light-workers. Show me the verse?

Second, I find the 123 system impractical. Take priority one, God, and priority two, spouse. If I do not proceed to stage two until I have met all my responsibilities in stage one, then when will I ever be free to do anything for my wife? When will I have fulfilled my responsibility to God and be ready to move on to tier two? The 123 system creates a conundrum: I will never do anything in areas that are lessor priorities because I can never satisfy all that is required in the top tier.

Despite mouthing allegiance to 123, we don’t operate from this philosophy anyway. We sometimes choose to seek the good of our children even when it curtails good we might do for a spouse. We elect to do good to a complete stranger even though it might crimp our plans with the kids. (Sounds like something a good Samaritan might do!) In other words, we might give lip service to 123 but are not actually and consistently using it.

123 lacks clear biblical support apart from it’s affirmation of God first. As a decision-making tool, it is hopelessly flawed and impractical. Surely, there is a better way.